Lifestyle

HAS a friend somehow managed to buy a house? Here’s what to say to passive-aggressively share your jealousy and anger.

MEN are powerfully complimentary about women when talking among themselves, but the language they use can be somewhat forthright.

PERPETUALLY sloshing olive oil all over the surfaces because your partner can’t be arsed to put the lid back on properly? They probably do these other things too.

PAIRING socks with sliders looks just as ridiculous as wearing socks with any other kind of sandal, it has been confirmed.

LEGIONS of self-congratulatory wankers who spent last week in sun-soaked domestic locations have returned to work to preen about it.

THE country way of life is more relaxed than the big city. But let's be brutally honest, some of their simple peasant traditions are weird. Like these.

DRIVERS of unnecessarily large cars are all hiding crippling insecurity and self-loathing. But what precise flavour of trauma does their dickish behaviour mask?

A PAIR of scrimping bellends are holding their wedding on a Friday, which is cheaper for them but incredibly inconvenient for their guests.

A WOMAN who has invented a system of storing items known only to her is furious at her family for not following it.

A MAN is struggling to enjoy the gorgeous sunny weather because he is having to ignore all of its many awful side effects.