Lifestyle

A TRIP to the tip is a deadly minefield of stress and potential embarrassment for the sensitive Guardian-reading male. Here’s how to bluff your way through it like a blokey bloke.

A NORTHERN man is feeling hard done by because of an intolerable quarter-hour daily commute.

MEN used to be in the pub when their kids were born, greet them with a firm handshake, then ignore them until they could kick a football. But modern dads are different. Like this.

REMEMBER when you asked for a dog and your parents palmed you off with one of these substandard substitutes, all worse than nothing?

A COUPLE have spent the majority of their holiday fretting about their dog’s mood after abandoning him to kennels.

A WOMAN believes her daily struggle means she is allowed occasional naughty indulgences approximately from dawn until dusk.

DESPITE it being 2023 there are barely any birthday cards for women which aren’t pink and don’t set feminism back by a decade. Like these.

FISH pedicures were everywhere, until they vanished so thoroughly you feel crazy for insisting they existed. Along with these former commonplaces.

A WOMAN who quit her job so she ‘wouldn’t miss a moment’ of her children growing up has observed that most of those moments appear to be incredibly tedious.

LIFE is hard, but you can always rely on a wank. Or can you? These deeply unerotic intrusions will bring an end to solitary sex quicker than you can type ‘weird hentai porn’.