Lifestyle

A WOMAN’S face has suffered irreparable structural damage due to the insupportable weight of her false eyelashes.

A COUPLE’S dream of turning their shabby loft into an idyllic living space has been shattered by actually going through the process.

A FAMILY plans to violate all natural law by holding a barbecue this weekend even though it is September.

THE government wants to ban disposable vapes, but why not just make the flavours more off-putting? Although if any of these catch on, society is doomed.

NONE of a hotel room’s 40 unmarked light switches actually switch off the lights, forcing guests to play a tiresome game of trial-and-error.

ARE you rapidly ageing into irrelevance? Does the slang of your youth date you as accurately as tree rings? Which of these outdated phrases are you using?

ANY houseshare will one day experience a feeling of emptiness as they realise their departed flatmate has blatantly robbed them. These are the stages of your journey.

A MOTHER who discovered a sex toy in her daughter’s room could not resist turning it on just to see how it worked, she has admitted.

A MAN who has only just learned you can shoplift as much as you like under £200 without penalty wishes someone had told him earlier.