Lifestyle

Nan wants postcard from stag weekend

A NAN has told her grandson that she expects a nice postcard from his stag weekend in Amsterdam.

Should I get my tits out? A comprehensive guide for women

BREASTS. Sometimes they should be exposed, sometimes not, and there are many grey areas. Let’s look at the pros and cons in a variety of situations.

Eight middle-class problems that are all the fault of their wood-burning stoves

WOODBURNING stoves cause asthma and particulate emissions, but what else are they getting up to while you're not looking, ruining your perfect middle-class life?

Beer, football or garden shed: the six types of birthday card for men

GREETINGS card manufacturers think men are simple creatures akin to amoebas. Here are the six very basic categories they fall into.

Their old microwave, and other things your parents are constantly trying to lumber you with

ONCE you’ve left home your parents just view you as someone they can dump all their old shit on. Here are some things they insist you have.

The best expensive items of outdoor gear to wear indoors

CLIMBING a mountain? No? Then why are you wearing a pair of ludicrously expensive bouldering trousers and a jacket more suited to Everest? Here's the best outdoor clothing to wear like a ponce.

How to maximise the awkwardness in a lift

NOBODY likes being forced into close proximity with strangers in a lift. Here’s how to take the experience to new levels of awkwardness and discomfort.

The self-checkout camera at Tesco, and other places you look f**king dreadful

THOUGHT you looked pretty good in the mirror at home? Here are some places that will unexpectedly reveal how truly hideous you are.

'They had to remove it from my arse in A&E': insanely personal information strangers just come out and share

COLLEAGUE? Friend of a friend? Stranger in the street? Why would they just come out and tell you this shit?

Smoking in offices, and other things you tell your kids happened but they don't believe

AS children grow, they are told stories of the recent past that sound like made-up bollocks. These former commonplaces seem scarcely credible now.