Lifestyle

'Is there consciousness after death?': How to take small talk with your barber to the next level

HALF an hour at the barber’s can feel like an eternity when you have to fill the time with shit small talk. Here are some conversation starters to take things up a gear.

Studio 54 and other 'legendary' places that were probably a bit shit

WAS Studio 54 just as loud, smelly and sticky as any other club you’ve had the misfortune to visit? Probably. And these other places would have sucked too.

Gen Z romanticising about growing up pre-internet wouldn't have lasted a day

DELUDED young people fantasising about growing up before the internet and social media would not have lasted five f**king minutes, their elders and betters have confirmed.

Mum with neck tattoo brings edgy new dynamic to school run

THE school run at a local primary school has been made significantly cooler and more exciting thanks to a mum sporting a daring neck tattoo.

Five tricks Ryanair pulls out of sheer f**king spite

WE are Ryanair, and we actively make flying with us worse in the hope you might pay us to stop. Here is how we hate you.

Taking charge of the barbecue, and other things middle-aged men to have wet dreams about

YOU used to have normal wet dreams about engaging in sexual acts with attractive humans. But now you’re middle-aged, this is what gets you hot.

Nine great things to worry yourself senseless about, by a bridal magazine

YOU aren't just a woman who is engaged to be married, you are a bride! Here’s what you must now have a nervous breakdown over, according to a bridal magazine.

A Kings of Leon cover band in the pub: Things that pass for entertainment in the sticks

ONCE you leave a major city or town, the level of entertainment on offer falls off a cliff. Here’s what people in the middle of nowhere have to pretend to enjoy because it’s that or a Harvest Festival.

Baselessly labelling people 'nonces' voted UK's favourite hobby

SUGGESTING without evidence that anyone you do not like is a paedophile is Britain's favourite pastime, it has been confirmed.

Sexy knickers giving sexy lady sexy itchy crotch

A HOT lady has been made all the more attractive with some silky pants that she has to constantly readjust due to them being f**king uncomfortable.