Lifestyle

THE UK has agreed that if Wilko goes under then there will be nothing left worth living for on this pathetic, godforsaken island.

THEY were the envy of the whole school when they were twelve, but for these people life was all downhill from that point.

THERE is no hobby which can compete with staring vacantly into a mobile phone, experts have confirmed.

MEN enjoy going to manly shops like Screwfix and the butchers. They will only enter these five establishments if they are dragged into them against their will.

HI there! Our former flatmate’s moving out (all on good terms, just the usual deep-rooted resentment), and we’ve got a spare room.

A 16-YEAR-OLD goth has denied being a goth, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

WOMEN may be fated to suffer the pain of childbirth, but it’s nothing compared to the hell a man must endure whenever he needs a wee. Here are just some of the grave dangers.

BRITONS evacuated from Rhodes due to wildfires do not know how lucky they have it, a family camping on the North Wales coast believe.

A MEMORY foam mattress owned by a single, dating woman has admitted its flawless recall has  become a terrible curse.

PARENTS everywhere are beginning the six-week summer holidays at a rate of effort, fun and treats that will swiftly prove unsustainable.