Lifestyle

WANT to be the smuggest arsehole round the table? Wax lyrical about features that happened to come with your house as if they were personal achievements, like these.

A MOTHER has found that the key to ‘having it all’ is putting minimal effort into every area of her life.

LIFE is full of crossroads moments where choosing the right path is the key to a fantastic future. Here are five you blew.

CHILDREN have begun the Easter holidays by going through a list of possible self-entertainment options and turning them all down flat.

DOES your mum act like turning on the interior light for three seconds will instantly cause a 20-vehicle pile-up? She probably hates these other things too.

A COUPLE who are welcoming city friends to their new countryside home are desperately thinking up ways to prove their lives are not miserable.

POLITICAL correctness won’t put a fire out, love, and you can’t have a smoke alarm that treats all air particles the same. Fireman Wayne Hayes explains.

WITH nitrous oxide off the menu, join us on a trip down the seedy bit of memory lane and remember the cheap-and-nasty highs the nation used to love.

SEX isn’t the only activity vastly improved by not wearing a small latex sheath. These pastimes feel better without a condom too.

WANT to make your neighbours worry they’ve accidentally moved in next to a working-class family? Here’s what to put in your garden.