INTERESTED in ley lines? Campfire jam sessions with friends? Or any other hobby which theoretically could be enjoyed without weed, but never, ever is?
Stone circles
There’s no specific reason why Neolithic sites should be connected to getting stoned. Their builders were off their tits on mushrooms, if anything. But any unfenced henge is regularly stumbled around by hippies in clouds of skunk, feeling energies flow through them, oblivious to the annoyed looks from druids pissed off nobody takes their work seriously.
Bongo drums
These open-bottomed hand-drums travelled from Africa to Cuba to New York, but at some point a bloke with long hair and a smouldering spliff picked up a pair. Ever since, arriving at a party and seeing a set of bongos means there’s some pretty good shit being passed around, along with some pretty shit music.
Underground comics
Comics themselves aren’t necessarily a sign of drug use. Everyone loves superheroes now. Alan Moore’s work gets made into blockbuster movies and he’s the definition of a dope-smoking hippy. But a home with Freak Brothers, Robert Crumb or Milk & Cheese comics scattered around is a home with a stash box and cellar growlights.
Exotic pets
Why would keeping a bearded dragon mean you automatically smoke up? What correlation is there between tarantula ownership and being a dealer? No rational one, but when you see a tank containing a lizard in a front room the likelihood of the owner rolling a joint on a Hawkwind album hardens to certainty.
UFOs
Many people, including leading astrophysicists, keep an open mind about the possibility of intelligent extraterrestrial life. Not if you’re a stoner. Your mind is slammed shut, and within it there is no doubt whatsoever that aliens exist, regularly visit our planet, and were solid buddies with the ancient Egyptians. While not believing in the moon landing.
Hemp
Hemp could make bottles that biodegrade in just 90 days. It could make beautiful, natural, and yet durable, clothing. It makes paper, sustainable buildings, and biofuel. But somehow you never see breadhead businessmen in sharp suits and slicked-back hair advocating for its use, only befuddled men exhaling bong hits. Which is suspicious.
