SUGGESTING without evidence that anyone you do not like is a paedophile is Britain’s favourite pastime, it has been confirmed.
Far outstripping the popularity of traditional hobbies such as gardening, reading and fishing, speculating on the internet about people committing heinous sex crimes now takes the top spot.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Only a few years ago, throwing the phrase ‘nonce’ around willy-nilly was a relatively unknown hobby, but it’s boomed in popularity in the past decade.
“Now people label strangers nonces without a second thought, even though suggesting someone has sex with children is enormously offensive and detracts from the seriousness of genuine offences.
“You don’t have to have done anything bad to be called it. Just voting for a different political party or liking a different football team is enough to be blithely slapped with this horribly upsetting accusation.
“Unknowingly having met a nonce makes you a ‘nonce’s friend’, and in a significant change to British law, any contact with a child who is not your own is proof of being a nonce.
“We think it’s so popular because it’s easy to get the hang of, doesn’t require much equipment and, best of all, is free. Well, at least until you get done for libel by a celebrity with very deep pockets.”
