WANT to brag about your intelligence while showing actual smart people your true idiocy? Try one of these failsafe ways:
Wear university branded clothing
Wearing an outfit with your alma mater’s logo emblazoned on it may seem like a slick way to mark yourself out as smart, but everyone goes to university now, and managing to turn up to two lectures a week isn’t much of an achievement. Especially when the lectures were at the University of Bolton.
Talk about your IQ
The only people who think about their IQ are unimaginative pedants who haven’t moved on very far from the Buzzfeed quizzes they did as teenagers. Potential employers don’t care if you scored 132 in the test, they’ll be more interested in whether you’re an insufferable prick who’ll be a nightmare to work with. Which you are.
Read the Financial Times
Flapping your huge, rustling broadsheet around on the train may make you feel superior to everyone else playing games on their phone, but the joke’s on you as you haven’t got a clue about stocks and shares and it’s incredibly boring. You’ll be desperate to get stuck into Candy Crush Saga like the other, less pretentious commuters.
Debate strangers online
You may think you have some fascinating opinions and important points to make, but getting into an argument online is actually the height of stupidity. Nobody has ever had their mind changed by an annoying stranger on the internet, and you certainly aren’t going to be the first to achieve it.
Join Mensa
While a community of geniuses sounds theoretically fascinating and impressive, the reality of it is desperately dull as it’s full of boring people who would rather join a nerdy little society than go down the pub. Talking about lofty ideas with fellow masterminds may be clever in the traditional sense of the word, but to normal people you’ll just seem like a massive idiot.
