Lifestyle

IS your friend, colleague or spouse looking suspiciously as if they have briefly experienced bliss? Any of these signs could mean they have had a wank.

WHAT transparent lies are you telling yourself to justify the necessary shortcuts to get through another week of parenting?

DO you live in one of the hundreds of British towns neither irredeemably shit nor especially good? Is mediocrity the best you can hope for?

THE position and strength of their hairline is secretly a constant source of dread for every single man, it has been confirmed.

A GENERATION of ravers are now a generation of middle-aged fathers passing on their hard-earned clubbing wisdom to their children. This is their advice.

WANT to ruin your whole family’s weekend by being a dick about doing your homework? Here’s how.

BEEN invited to a friend's for dinner? Here's how to get right on their tits with some deeply annoying and socially inept behaviour.

A MIDDLE-CLASS woman never misses an opportunity to 'casually' mention that she went to a crappy state school. 

IS it time for bed with your loving partner, but somehow you just can’t be arsed to leave the sofa? Here are things that’ll leave you ashamed of your own sloth but you’ll do anyway.

COMMON sense dictates you should go to the loo, but you feel compelled to have a white-knuckle race between completing a minor chore and weeing yourself. Which will win?