Lifestyle

The 15 rules that apply to everyone except you

EVERYONE agrees that rules are essential to a functioning society. But that doesn’t mean you, obviously. You’re special, so you’re allowed to ignore the following rules.

14 ways your kids delay bedtime by dicking about

ARE your kids dicking about at bedtime for the 11,000th day in a row? This will be why.

How to punish the parents attending your child's birthday party

WANT to make your child’s birthday party an enormous pain in the arse? Here’s how.

Man who studied at University of Life got a 2:2

A MAN who claims to have studied at the University of Life did not pay very much attention to his studies, his friends have concluded.

Cannabis isn't addictive like other drugs, says man who's smoked weed every day for 15 years

A MAN who has been high every day for the past 15 years has explained that it is impossible to get addicted to marijuana.

Names for bread and other things Northerners are bloody obsessed with

NORTHERNERS are a proud race with strong opinions, unfortunately about things the rest of the nation couldn't give a shit about. Here are some of their hot button topics.

How to lay the groundwork for cancelling on your friends this evening

GOT plans with friends but don’t want to go? Here’s how to start laying the groundwork for getting out of them.

The progressive woman's guide to chores that still need to be done by men

EQUALITY has vastly improved, but let’s not get carried away. As far as household chores go, these need to remain the preserve of men, argues Donna Sheridan.

Having nails aggressively sanded and glued a real treat for the soul, women agree

WOMEN have confirmed that having a complete stranger shove their fingernails into various different boxes and layer paste on them is the highest form of relaxation.

Let me give you the bedsit tour! By a millennial

COME in! Obviously I’d prefer to give you ‘the house tour’, but that’s not an option, so let’s pretend my cramped studio flat above a kebab shop is a liveable dwelling.