Lifestyle

DO you live in one of the hundreds of British towns neither irredeemably shit nor especially good? Is mediocrity the best you can hope for?

THE position and strength of their hairline is secretly a constant source of dread for every single man, it has been confirmed.

A GENERATION of ravers are now a generation of middle-aged fathers passing on their hard-earned clubbing wisdom to their children. This is their advice.

WANT to ruin your whole family’s weekend by being a dick about doing your homework? Here’s how.

BEEN invited to a friend's for dinner? Here's how to get right on their tits with some deeply annoying and socially inept behaviour.

A MIDDLE-CLASS woman never misses an opportunity to 'casually' mention that she went to a crappy state school. 

IS it time for bed with your loving partner, but somehow you just can’t be arsed to leave the sofa? Here are things that’ll leave you ashamed of your own sloth but you’ll do anyway.

COMMON sense dictates you should go to the loo, but you feel compelled to have a white-knuckle race between completing a minor chore and weeing yourself. Which will win?

YOU’VE seen our YouTube ads so you know that hairy bollocks are socially unacceptable. Here’s why women will be repulsed and you’ll die alone if you don’t trim.

ECONOMISTS may look to interest rates and GDP, but the strongest sign we’re in the financial shitter is teens with their boxers up over their waistbands again.