Lifestyle

CHASING a National Grid pay-out by not using the oven for a whole 60 minutes? Here’s how to survive without it for the length of a whole episode of Silent Witness. 

COCAINE is not worth it because it is simply too hard to do, recreational drug users have confirmed.

‘YOU talkin’ to me?’ men say into mirrors while holding a cordless drill, or any of these vaguely gun-shaped objects.

THE chances are that male pattern baldness is coming for you and the results vary wildly. Where on the spectrum will you end up?  

ONCE they have exhausted wild swimming, the middle classes are sure to give other simple activities stupid gentrified nicknames. Including these.

FEW things scream 'pathetic’ like stickers in your rear window intended to impress others with your lifestyle. Like these irksome examples.

I’VE always loved wild swimming, sorry I meant camping. The exhilarating freedom of plunging into the sea, by which I mean a tent on Dartmoor, heals the soul.

WEEKENDS are supposed to be a pleasant respite from your job, but these activities will make you crave the sweet release of work.

NOBODY says anything about you being 49 and having a TikTok, but absolutely everybody is thinking it. These activities are also suspicious, for you.

A MAN in his 30s has realised that he will never hold such high social status as when he had a car in the sixth form.