Business

Shop staff deeply touched by empathy of former retail worker

THE overworked staff of a busy clothes shop have found great comfort in the sympathy of a woman who knows what it is like because she worked in retail once.

'What's the matter, too pussy for this good shit?' How to market pumpkin spice lattes to men

MEN are simple creatures who can easily be convinced to do anything. Here’s how to sell them even the most feminine of beverages.

Seven draconian measures to stop Charlie Mullins sneaking back into the UK

xBRITAIN’S richest plumber and worst Rod Stewart tribute Charlie Mullins is leaving the UK to avoid tax. But what if he tries to return? Here’s how to keep this scourge from our shores.

We didn't know if anyone would want to come, explains Ticketmaster

TICKETMASTER have explained tickets were only priced so low for Oasis’s concerts next year because they were not convinced it would be popular.

Ryanair wrestling Wetherspoons in gutter over a couple of cans

RYANAIR and Wetherspoons are fighting each other while rolling in filth and shouting incoherently, all over a couple of cans of lager.

Is child labour worth it for cheap clothes of terrible quality? A Shein shopper argues 'yes'

A SHEIN superfan has argued a little child exploitation in the developing world is worth it for easy access to cheap, poorly made clothes that she will wear once.

'Wonderfully low-maintenance': the bullshit phrases an estate agent would use to sell you

ESTATE agents, using the magic of language, can transform even the foulest shithole into a desirable property worth borrowing £300,000 for. Here’s how they would sell you.