Business

YO ho ho! Captain Clegg here, feared freebooter of the seas whose only loyalty is to gold, explaining why it’s crucial to put vital public services in my hands.

ENERGY companies have admitted that the words ‘price’ and ‘cap’ are just meaningless sounds they like to say every now and then.

WONDERING why the country has privatised energy companies when they are so terrible? Here is how they compare with a real business that does not screw over its customers.

YOUR holiday? We’re having that. Your new kitchen? That’s ours now. Your second car? Give it the f**k here. We are BP, and we’ve having all your shit.

THE poundshop may soon be a thing of the past, as few items still cost £1. Britons are predictably upset, but the truth is they were always bollocks. Here’s why.

HORSES are parading, M&S biscuits are rebranded, and Nicholas Witchell is clearing his throat. Jubilee hysteria is upon us. Here’s how to make it through.

SMUG twats who piled all their cash into imaginary numbers money are finding out they are not cleverer than the entire world after all.

IN our capitalist label-obsessed society, some brands attract more tosspots, twats and knobheads than others. Avoid anyone devoted to these.

A DRUNK man, noticeably high on cocaine and bellowing about cryptocurrencies in a central London pub, is hoping people are taking his excellent financial advice. 

THE budget supposedly benefits the rich at the expense of the ‘poor’. If you can call them that, they’ve got phones, shoes and running water, haven’t they? Anyway, here I explain why more money motivates wealthy people but not the povs.