Business

TESCO Metro has unveiled a new slogan that reflects the half-arsed shopping habits of its customers.

THE Pandora Papers have revealed that you are the only person in the entire world paying their fair share of taxes and everyone is laughing at you.

ENERGY firms facing bankruptcy due to soaring bills have been patronisingly advised that a prepayment meter would control their spending.

NOBODY'S using trains because they're expensive as f**k and always late. Here's what they'd have to do to be more appealing.

WETHERSPOONS boss Tim Martin has confirmed that when he finds out who f**ked up his business by taking his beer and chefs away, they are dead.

IS your once-bustling high street now a parade of empty shops and broken dreams? Here are five ideas to bring life back to your city centre.

A WORLDWIDE pandemic paired with a global recession is no match for heroic rising British property prices, it has emerged.

VISITING a chi-chi little town? Here are six absurdly niche shops you’ll find there and only there.

DO you want to make money without having anything of actual merit to sell? Try flogging these toys to gullible kids.

A MAN is getting constant, eager updates from a delivery company advising him on the precise whereabouts of his parcel.