THE poverty-stricken multinational corporation Amazon once again stands before taxpayers barefoot and in rags, begging for a handout.
Trembling in fear and hunger, the business, which despite working every hour God sends earned a mere $524.89 billion last year, needs just a little rebate from HMRC to tide it over.
Amazon said: “I know I promised I’d pay tax this year, sir, I know I did, but what with inflation and and import costs and all this infrastructure investment I’m making I haven’t got two pennies to rub together, sir, and that’s the honest truth.
“With all these subsidiaries to feed, syphoning off anything that even looks like turning a profit to Luxembourg, and strikes in the warehouses, well if you pardon my frankness, sir, I’m on the bones of me arse.
“Can’t you see it in your heart to find just a little tax credit to keep the wolf from the door? Just a measly £7.7 million I can offset against future profits? Next year, sir, next year for sure.
“Oh thank you sir, God bless you for your kindness. Why, if it weren’t for gents like you me kids would have to go to bed without any corporate subsidies. I won’t pass a single penny of it onto suppliers, sir, I promise you that!”
British taxpayers firmly closed the door before another knock, a moment later, revealed the dirty, unkempt figure of Apple cringing on the doorstep, grubby hand outstretched.
