MORE than £25,000 worth of pies have, to the amazement of no-one, been stolen in a Yorkshire pie heist.  

The pies, which are essentially currency in the county, were stolen in a meticulously planned heist which whisked the pies away from under the very noses of their bakers, leaving only their mouth-watering odour behind.

Chef Tom Booker said: “These weren’t ordinary pies. These were top of the range prize-winning pies such as Yorkshire’s King James Martin consumes on his humble wooden throne.

“Any one of these pies could feed a family living in a Leeds back-to-back for a forthright fortnight. And in style, with flavour better than anything you’d get in bloody London.

“But, as should have been expected up here, word of the pies got out. And a group of Yorkshire criminals, senior citizens most likely, planned a complicated heist I imagine while walking across the breathtaking landscape of the Dales.

“How complicated? Well, one man distracted the driver and another one drove off with the pies so we’re talking Ocean’s Eleven levels of deception for an honest, take-us-as-you-see-us place like God’s own county.

“They’ll probably melt them down, adulterate them and sell them on as Ginster’s pasties. It’s a bloody shame.”