Science & Technology

VEHICLES described by men as 'women's cars' do not have breasts or a vagina, experts have discovered.

A MAN who does not dip his headlights thinks he is a master of the universe rather than the worst person the world, it has been confirmed.

MATHS is far too hard, experts have confirmed.

A MAN has confused his younger co-workers by explaining he had ‘taped’ a TV show to watch later.

BUS drivers have confirmed that the advent of contactless payment means they are frantically brainstorming new ways to be total arseholes.

A MAN who sees his parents trying to turn on the TV using every remote control in the house is having thoughts of killing them with his bare hands.

A WOMAN is trying to write an email without using exclamation marks but also without coming across as a totally mardy bitch.

SCIENTISTS have confirmed a link between a blob of delicious ice cream on a floor and a small child that has gone completely mental.

A PHONE that was not charged properly now plans to be a real pain in the arse by looking as if it will run out of battery at any moment.

THE free internet connection in airports, shopping centres and cafes is worth a negative amount of money, experts have confirmed.