Science & Technology

ROCKING a phone with a cobweb-smashed touchscreen is officially cool, according to experts.

DESPERATE GDPR emails telling people ‘their time is up’ and ‘they must take action now’ have been told to calm the fuck down.

YOU cannot restock a fridge by staring blankly into it for several minutes, it has been confirmed.

A MUM sending the same message via five different platforms is perfectly aware that they all goes to her daughter’s one phone, she has confirmed.

CATS have a complex system of cat swear words, researchers have discovered.

THE personal data collected over the internet is all bollocks, it has finally been admitted.

CHILDREN who keep losing their phones will have to make do with traditional communication methods such as letters, parents have decided.

IT may have featured Tom Hardy in arseless chinos and an alien horse invasion but no one wants to hear your dream, it has been confirmed.

BRITAIN has agreed that if it is just a piss then washing your hands is not a big deal.

THE UK has agreed that today’s mild sunshine means summer has arrived and it will never be cold again.