Science & Technology

SCIENTISTS have confirmed a link between a blob of delicious ice cream on a floor and a small child that has gone completely mental.

A PHONE that was not charged properly now plans to be a real pain in the arse by looking as if it will run out of battery at any moment.

THE free internet connection in airports, shopping centres and cafes is worth a negative amount of money, experts have confirmed.

BRITAIN has demanded scientists come up with something like vaping, where nicotine can be enjoyed safely and conveniently at any time, but for alcohol.

PEOPLE who put nauseating statements about their partners on Instagram and Facebook have been told to desist.

ARE YOU reading because you enjoy the complex interplay of stimulating thoughts that a good book offers, or has your phone battery died?

ALMOST 99 per cent of what children say is complete and utter bollocks, it has emerged.

APPLE has launched three new smartphones with the message that they are pretty similar to all the other ones.

A MOTHER is adding incredibly long and specific hashtags to every photo she posts in the belief it will make them more shareable, she has confirmed.

A NEW VR game gives players a simulated experience of being in a nice pub alone, enjoying a pint and not being bothered by anyone.