Relationships

Single people wondering if they'll ever go on a shit date again

THE nation’s unloved loners have been left wondering if they will get to enjoy a shit date with a weirdo ever again.

Five reasons to thank your lucky f**king stars you'll be single this Christmas

SAD to be single this Christmas? Here’s why being alone during the festive season is actually f**king brilliant.

Thoughtful present ideas you could have had if you were a better person

AN original and imaginative gift shows a loved one how much you care, but you haven’t taken the time or trouble to choose anything like these.

Seven presents that say 'You're dumped'

CONCERNED about the health of your relationship? If you receive any of these lacklustre gifts you’ll be seeing 2021 in single.

Have your own bed and house: secrets to a lasting marriage

THE strongest marriages can weather any storm, particularly if you only occasionally see each other. Here's how to ensure your marriage lasts.

Kids refuse to do a thing unless there's a café after the thing

Two children have made it clear that a country walk is not acceptable if it does not include a café afterwards.

Man starts argument in vague hope of make-up sex

A MAN has started an argument with his girlfriend in the misguided belief that it could lead to mind-blowing make-up sex.

Man with no idea what to get girlfriend for Christmas just going to propose

A MAN who cannot think of anything to give his girlfriend for Christmas this year has decided to simply propose.

I want you all to f**k off, says mum when asked what she wants for Christmas

A MUM has requested that everybody f**k off when asked what she would like for Christmas.

A mum's guide to being offended by your family

MUMS have a unique right to be pissed off with their family for any reason. Here is a mother's guide to having issues with your relatives.