Relationships

LOVE your mum? Conscious that your birth ravaged her and left her incontinent? Here are five gifts that say 'Thanks, also sorry'.

TALKING to the teenage bellend shagging your daughter is never easy, but here’s how to make sure he thinks you are an absolute twat.

IN A locked down world, we’re all making promises we won’t keep. For example, here are five people you’ve sworn you’ll meet the minute it’s allowed and absolutely won’t.

DATING apps are nightmarish hellscapes populated by the scum of the earth, so you’ll fit right in. Here are the people who’ll keep you company.

A MAN is growing increasingly concerned that his 29-year-old girlfriend is actually an 80-year-old woman in disguise.

DADS have an uncanny ability to say things that make you want to curl up and die. Here 55-year-old accountant Stephen Malley lists some of his favourite expressions for putting his foot in it.

AFTER the early, exciting stage of your relationship, sex will become a chore to get done or a Plan B for when other activities fall through. Here’s why you’ll reluctantly do it.

Moving in with your partner is blissful, apart from the moment when discover they've got rid of some of your most cherished possessions. Here are some of the things you'll lose:

WHAT do the stars predict for your Valentine's Day? Here is a very definite and not-at-all made up insight into the most romantic day of the year.

A MOTHER of identical twins has confirmed that she finds them just as profoundly weird as the rest of society does.