Lifestyle

A FATHER on an outing with his kids is beginning to worry after not shelling out a fortune on crap for several minutes.

ARE you an obnoxious middle class prick keen to be superior to your friends? Then take these to their picnic.

A BEE hotel hanging from a tree at the bottom of a garden has received a brutal review on Tripadvisor, it has emerged.

AFTER using a train bathroom, a male passenger is bitterly lamenting his decision not to sit down to piss.

PRESIDENT Erdoğan of Turkey is such a masculine boss man that he made Putin wait 50 seconds before shaking his hand. What other tiny-penised power moves could he have used?

ADVICE to stay at home in the heatwave has been ignored by insufferable twats migrating in search of air-con. Here’s where you’ll find them.

NOBODY understands how hard it is to maintain standards when you’re middle-class in an awful vulgar heatwave. Francesca Johnson explains her relatable issues:.

SUMMER is here, shoes are unwearably hot and you’re searching for other options. Treat your repugnant feet to these.

A WOMAN complimented on her £300 sundress has modestly pretended it is no more than a soiled rag she unearthed from the bottom of a bin.

YOUR holiday is booked, but your flabby mass is nowhere near beach body ready. Here are your worst features and how to disguise them.