Health

TRAVELLING to Turkey for cosmetic surgery which goes horribly wrong is now a rite of passage for Britons. What misjudged operation are you choosing?

FEELING impotent, sad and powerless is normal for Britons, but nonetheless it hurts to see American voters elect a convict and aspiring dictator. This is what you’ll go through.

SMOKING will soon be banned outside hospitals when within living memory it was every Englishman’s right to have an NHS ashtray. And it was fine in all these locations.

THEY are too fat and they are too lazy. Something has to be done. But before we waste Ozempic on them, what about trying my vicious, twisted ideas?

EXISTING on this godforsaken island is a form of assisted dying in its own way, it has emerged.

BOYFRIENDS are often mocked for not understanding periods, but really it’s no more complicated than looking after a hamster. Follow this advice and your partner will be fine. 

A WOMAN experiences hardly any of the debilitating effects of menstruation because of her natural goodness.

A RETIRED computer technician with an extensive self-shot collection of locomotive videos is not about to describe himself as ‘neurospicy’.

A MAN obsessed with the gym, weight-lifting and fitness is only trying to keep away terrors you could not begin to imagine, it has emerged.