Health

Sibling needing a kidney should have thought of that when they pinched your Wotsits in year two

A MAN asked to donate a kidney to his seriously ill sibling feels it is extremely cheeky due to his brother’s poor record of sharing during childhood.

Eight hours of sleep basically impossible, scientists confirm

GETTING the recommended eight hours of restful slumber nightly is against the laws of physics, scientists have confirmed.

Gym before work: seven f**king unhelpful tips on how you could exercise more

DON’T have time for exercise? Obsessive gym rats can help you with that, by making these unworkable suggestions and dismissing your objections as weakness.

The NHS at 75: Time to die

THE NHS today celebrates its 75th birthday at a private party held by the Conservatives and their lobbyists from the global healthcare industry.

Ten great healthy foods that whoops sorry they'll kill you

ASPARTAME in lovely healthy sugar-free Diet Coke is a carcinogen, it turns out, and these other healthy options you’ve dutifully stuck to will also prove fatal.

Rishi Sunak's nine-point plan to fix the NHS and its nine obvious flaws

THE prime minister has unveiled a nine-point plan to restore the NHS to its pre-2010 glory, with nine glaringly obvious flaws.

Why smaller children make good economic sense for Britain. By a Tory MP

BRITISH children under five are shorter than their European counterparts, according to a survey. And this possible effect of malnutrition is excellent news for Britain, writes Tory MP Norman Steele. 

Sitting on your own bollock, and five other avoidable injuries

YOUR body is largely good to you, but that doesn’t stop you causing it unnecessary pain by doing some utterly stupid things. Like these.

Female things, nonsense and getting a bit overheated: women's health issues, defined by a man

WOMEN are forever harping on about their mysterious health issues. Here I, a middle-aged man, attempt to explain them.

Inspirational ginger actually likes the sun

A GINGER man has touched millions of hearts by saying he actually enjoys sunny weather.