Health

A MAN is sailing through January because he has decided to eat and drink whatever takes his fancy, it has emerged.

NEW Year is the time when tedious bastards decide they want to improve themselves. Here’s how to f**k it up for them.

DOES the mere suggestion that wearing a mask might stop the spread of illness send you into apoplectic paranoid fury, or are you normal? Take our quiz.

CONTRARY to popular belief, men adhere to a strictly regimented skincare routine. Learn how to follow it with this guide.

THE government refuses to accept the NHS is in crisis. Are they lying or are you being an entitled whinger for expecting hospital care after a heart attack? Find out with our quiz.

A COMPLETE bastard is still comfortably fitting into the clothes he wore before he stuffed his face during Christmas, it has been confirmed.

THE ambulance strike has forced a man to make the difficult decision to wait a day before getting so pissed he needs his stomach pumped.

ILL? Cursing fate while baffled as to where it could possibly have come from? Knowingly overlooking these painfully clear infection vectors?

TODAY sees nurses hold the biggest strike in NHS history, meaning you should probably play it safe and avoid these activities.

HAVE you come down with some cold weather lurgy, probably a cold or flu? It’s 100 per cent guaranteed that friends and family will have a plentiful supply of bollocks to make you feel worse.