Sport

Four horses missing after Aintree Ladies’ Day

FOUR horses remain unaccounted for after the annual ritual of Aintree “Ladies’ Day”.

Roads not a velodrome

BRITAIN'S roads are not a specialist cycle racing facility, it has been confirmed.

All racehorses named by Captcha

THE online anti-fraud tool Captcha is responsible for the names of racehorses, it has been revealed.

West Ham boo boys 'unable to make cheering sound'

WEST Ham's 'boo boys' are working with vocal coaches on making a cheering sound, it has emerged.

£90 England shirt made with patented PissTake technology

THE England football team's new kit is expensive because it is made from a cutting-edge material called PissTake.

Dutch cricket coach lambasts squad for poor display

HOLLAND cricket coach Peter Drinnen has lambasted his team for only narrowly beating England.

Liverpool six games from being unbearable again

LIVERPOOL fans are on the brink of regaining their status as the most annoying in England.

Sol Campbell autobiography to focus on his previous lives

SOL Campbell’s autobiography focuses on his experiences as a handmaiden to Queen Elizabeth I in a previous life.

Most Britons think Mo Farah is a character in Game of Thrones

INTEREST in sport has plummeted to the point that most people believe Mo Farah is a central character in a TV show that includes dragons.

Entire Chelsea team not sent off by mistake

REFEREE Andre Marriner has been criticised for failing to dismiss players despite TV replays showing them wearing Chelsea shirts.