Sport

THE Premier League title will be given to the team whose manager is the biggest lunatic, it has emerged.

RORY McIlroy must fight a legendary monster before being granted entry to golf's hall of heroes.

LOUIS van Gaal has cemented his status as the greatest manager in Manchester United’s history by winning the coveted Guinness International Champions Cup.

THE Premier League clubs touring the USA have informed their fans they prefer it over there and they're not coming back.

SOFTLY-SPOKEN Paul Scholes will be voiced by Julie Walters when he appears as a pundit on BT Sport.

GLASGOW'S Commonwealth Games officials have confirmed that Usain Bolt is a dead man walking.

PIONEERING rugby league players may break with 119 years of tradition to avoid tackles instead of running straight into them.

SOUTHAMPTON are to bid for the Premier League using the concept of homeopathy.

STRIKER Didier Drogba is dragging himself back to Stamford Bridge to end his days, the club has confirmed.

TOTTENHAM Hotspur players will line up in 2014/15 wearing a long shirt that barely covers their groins, it has been revealed.