Sport

THE England football team's new kit is expensive because it is made from a cutting-edge material called PissTake.

HOLLAND cricket coach Peter Drinnen has lambasted his team for only narrowly beating England.

LIVERPOOL fans are on the brink of regaining their status as the most annoying in England.

SOL Campbell’s autobiography focuses on his experiences as a handmaiden to Queen Elizabeth I in a previous life.

INTEREST in sport has plummeted to the point that most people believe Mo Farah is a central character in a TV show that includes dragons.

REFEREE Andre Marriner has been criticised for failing to dismiss players despite TV replays showing them wearing Chelsea shirts.

MANY hours after they sat down together, José Mourinho's candlelit dinner with Didier Drogba is still not finished.

RUSSIA has heightened tensions with the UK by supporting Andre Villas-Boas’s claim to be a football coach.

HULL City owner Assem Allam plans a dildo-themed rebrand for the club, it has emerged.

THE Commonwealth Games baton carriers have demanded a fair way of deciding who has to take it through the east end of Glasgow.