Sport

Mourinho and Drogba still only on cheese course

MANY hours after they sat down together, José Mourinho's candlelit dinner with Didier Drogba is still not finished.

Russia angers West by recognising Villas-Boas as a football manager

RUSSIA has heightened tensions with the UK by supporting Andre Villas-Boas’s claim to be a football coach.

Hull City to be renamed Hull Dildoes

HULL City owner Assem Allam plans a dildo-themed rebrand for the club, it has emerged.

Commonwealth baton runners draw straws on the Glasgow bit

THE Commonwealth Games baton carriers have demanded a fair way of deciding who has to take it through the east end of Glasgow.

England to keep doing cricket

DESPITE overwhelming evidence that it just isn't for them, England are still persisting with cricket.

British men in Barcelona shirts hoping you'll ask

THE PUBLIC has been warned not to approach men wearing Barcelona shirts who clearly have no ethnic affiliation to the Catalan region.

Poyet criticises critics’ criticisms

SUNDERLAND manager Gus Poyet has hit out at journalists hitting out at him.

Wales beaten at rugby by country that doesn't even like it

THE Welsh are turmoil after being beaten at rugby by a country that is indifferent to the sport.

England team psychologist to deal mainly with John Terry-based nightmares

THE England football team’s new psychologist will focus on helping players recover from nightmares about John Terry.

Mordor Grand Prix announced

BERNIE Ecclestone has struck a deal to take Formula One to the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie.