FOLLOWING defeat by Manchester City, United officials are attempting to stir up a bitter rivalry with Conference North side Stockport County.
Stockport’s flea market is ‘cocky’United administrative staff spent much of yesterday composing anti-Stockport songs and making abusive phone calls to the sixth tier clubs main office.
Club secretary Carolyn Archer said: Stockport County are Manchester Uniteds most ancient foes, everyone knows that.
They always say youre either from the red half of Manchester or the blue half, and by the blue half we mean a small separate town around seven miles away.
We cant stand The Hatters, or whatever their nickname is.
Just the thought of Stockports Victorian viaduct makes me really angry. When we meet every 36 years or so, it gets really tasty.
United fan Stephen Malley said: I suppose I could hate Stockport. They play in blue and theyre worse than us, itll be like the good old days. Plus theyre always making hats.
Despite Archers best intentions, United received a polite email back from Stockport asking if they ever have any spare tickets for Premier League games.