Sport

ARSENAL’S poor performance against Besiktas has been blamed on the rigours of playing football for nearly a fortnight.

PREMIER League referee Chris Foy faces an investigation after using vanishing spray to push party guests back 10 yards.

MANCHESTER United has made Wayne Rooney its new captain as reward for his unswerving dedication to the club.

JOSE Mourinho’s Chelsea will be the plucky minnows when they visit newly promoted Burnley.

GLENN Hoddle believes that signing to QPR will result in his getting a regular midfield run-out.

CELTIC has invented a fictional hero to take credit for the three goals it never scored.

THE Premier League title will be given to the team whose manager is the biggest lunatic, it has emerged.

RORY McIlroy must fight a legendary monster before being granted entry to golf's hall of heroes.

LOUIS van Gaal has cemented his status as the greatest manager in Manchester United’s history by winning the coveted Guinness International Champions Cup.

THE Premier League clubs touring the USA have informed their fans they prefer it over there and they're not coming back.