Society

PARENTS of children sent to private school are again interpreting today’s GCSE results as a sign they are naturally more intelligent.

STUCK in an airport terminal waiting for a plane that shows no sign of being announced? Keep your kids entertained by looking out for these sights.

YOU and your grandmother headed down to the park, hand-in-hand, to murder countless waterfowl. Add it to the list of your crimes.

MANKIND faces its greatest crisis ever - cultural climate change, or ‘wokeness’, which threatens to destroy civilisation as we know it. Here’s what we must do to avert catastrophe.

TEENAGERS who have achieved high grades in their A-levels are excited to go to university and rack up tens of thousands of pounds of debt.

IT takes less than three seconds for people to decide if your child is a twat, based only on their name. Beware these inexplicably popular choices.

LANGUAGE evolves all the time. And the way the UK is going, poor people will soon have no need for these words at all.

A SELF-SATISFIED man has displayed his superiority to other tram passengers by standing without holding the pole, it has emerged.

BEEN sucked into one of those pointless arguments about something utterly trivial? Maybe you should learn from well-adjusted people with actual lives, who don’t give a shit.

DO you treat a trip to the cinema as if it’s just another evening in your living room? Perhaps try observing these basic, undemanding rules that a f**king potato could understand.