TEENAGERS who have achieved high grades in their A-levels are excited to go to university and rack up tens of thousands of pounds of debt.
Students with the necessary grades to take up their conditional offers say they cannot wait for a debt out of all proportion to their likely earnings that will make them hate themselves for not doing a tedious accountancy degree.
Lucy Phipps, who got three As and an A*, said: “I worked really hard to get these grades, so I deserve my place on the Art History degree that is going to make me not very employable and cripple me financially for decades to come.
“The stress, the late nights revising and the nerve-wracking wait for results have all been worth it because I can spend three years in London, one of the most expensive cities on earth, blazing through a loan that I will be paying back forever. Plus interest.
“What an immense achievement. My parents are so proud of me. That’s why they’re crying.”
Her older brother Josh Phipps, who failed to get the grades to do A-levels and did a plumbing apprenticeship instead, said: “I’m already on £40k a year. Who’s the thicko now, Luce?
“Having said that, combi boilers are f**king boring. You can’t win.”
