Society

THE driver of a mobile library is playing the chimes of an ice-cream van on his rounds as the perfect way to upset children, he has confirmed.

A WOMAN who dreamed that her partner was having an affair with her best friend has remained absolutely furious about it for the whole day.

A MAN has expressed joy at finally being old enough to go for a pint alone and not have anyone question him about it.

MOST Britons have confirmed they will not settle for anything less than living in a small village surrounded by a high wall.

A COUPLE are setting aside money so that they can take their parents to a local restaurant and beg for a house deposit.

A YOUNG couple have given their frightened relatives a tour of the deprived but ‘up and coming’ area where they have bought a flat.

AN OFFICE worker has been furious with his colleagues, clients and all office equipment for seven years straight, it has emerged.

BREXIT voters are flocking to see a Princess Diana plate that weeps real tears, it has emerged.

WITCHCRAFT has increased by around 700 per cent across Britain in the last 12 months.

A MAN has left his speaker by an open window in the hope that people will hear how awful his taste in music is and recommend something good.