Society

BRITONS do not need to go to a nightclub to take drugs, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN has decided to stop trying to achieve anything after discovering she is older than Beyonce.

A MAN who keeps commenting on the darker evenings does not understand that everyone else is trying to ignore it.

A GROWN man has wowed onlookers by skateboarding down a high street and doing some sort of flip that didn’t come off.

TWO people in a relationship are convinced that they are the best couple.

A SCOTSMAN has sent a drunken text to his friend that may or may not be a passage from an Irvine Welsh novel.

A WOMAN has revealed she wants to have children before her friends take all the good baby names.

SCRATCH cards are considered the perfect dessert after a nice meal in Hull, it has emerged.

THE parents of an nine-year-old are spending the last weekend of the summer holidays watching a digital clock count down to 9am on Monday.

A GROUP of colleagues who claim to work hard and play hard do not appear to do either, it has emerged.