Society

A MAN has once again put the big light on despite knowing full well that his girlfriend prefers the lamps.

A MAN who recently took up meditation has gained spiritual insights that anyone could have thought of, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have welcomed their third child, who is clearly an accident although they are playing that down.

THE ‘killer clown’ craze is either the result of complicated sociological factors or just twats arsing about, it has been claimed.

A MAN was forced to quickly shut his living room door after accidentally discovering his flatmate painting Warhammer figurines in the middle of the afternoon.

A CLAMPDOWN on internet trolls is forcing them to do their trolling in the real world, they have revealed.

THE misery and frustration of missing out on Glastonbury tickets is good training for life, delighted parents have confirmed.

A HIPSTER is angry that a woman he befriended before anyone else now has lots of other friends too.

LONDONERS are leaving the capital for Birmingham because it is the only city in Britain unpleasant enough for them to cope with.

A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has visited a real-life house of horrors where the television is sometimes turned off for hours at a time.