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Man leaves speaker by open window to let everyone know how bad his taste in music is

A MAN has left his speaker by an open window in the hope that people will hear how awful his taste in music is and recommend something good.

Nathan Muir left his window open while listening to what passers by described as ‘some kind of electro-house shit’.

Muir shouted to passers-by: “I DON’T REALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC. I’M HOPING SOMEONE WILL BE KIND ENOUGH TO HELP ME MAKE BETTER CHOICES.

“MAYBE SOMETHING CHILLED AND LAID BACK. THIS ELECTRO SHIT IS GIVING ME A FUCKING HEADACHE.”

Muir’s neighbour, Martin Bishop, shouted back: “LISTEN TO FOREVER CHANGES BY LOVE. IT’S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT UTTER SHIT YOU’RE LISTENING TO.”

Another neighbour, Eleanor Lewis, shouted: “NIRVANA, UNPLUGGED IN NEW YORK.

“DO IT IMMEDIATELY.”

Northern family has no-nonsense day out

A FAMILY from Bolton has gone on a blunt, plain-speaking and principled day out at a theme park.

The Steele family journeyed to Alton Towers by bus, taking packed lunches and waterproof coats, and resolved not to put up with any silliness on the way.

Norman Steele said: “I got to the front and they asked if I wanted a ‘Fastrack’ to skip the queues. I said the queues are what we’re here for, love.

“We looked at that Rita Queen of Speed but 60 seconds and you’re back where you started with your hair mussed. We went on Oblivion six times instead, because that’s value.

“We used the map – wandering’s for folk with time on their hands – and we enjoyed ourselves an amount up to or even exceeding the entrance price while Southerners were swigging fizzy pop they’d paid over the odds for.

“It’s a shame they’ve closed the log flume, because that wasn’t too aggravating on the heart and I knew where to sit so you wouldn’t get wet. Still.”

On the way out of the park, Steele’s ten-year-old son Alex was heard asking if he could have a blue slushie, instead receiving a clip round the ear.

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