Science & Technology

FOUR pints is the best amount of beer to drink, experts have confirmed.

NONE of the 37 people who reviewed a laptop online had the first idea what they were talking about, a man has discovered.

BEING around children makes you feel less drunk, it has been confirmed.

FORMER TV weatherman Michael Fish has confirmed that Brexit is going well and will definitely happen.

WOMEN across the UK are being forced to attend a one-day thermostat awareness course to learn how they work.

A MAN has realised the women in his life would once have been considered witches due to their belief in herbs, the power of cats and having a ‘sixth sense’ about things.

THE home secretary has admitted she cannot see why the man who runs the internet will not just delete all the bits she finds offensive.

A HALF-WITTED Neanderthal who still somehow walks among us has been exposed by admitting that when he wants to see a film, he buys it on DVD.

ALL chicken sold in supermarkets looks monstrous and evil, it has emerged.

SEX, it has been confirmed.