Science & Technology

MILLIONS of half-completed screenplays, novels and travel memoirs could be destroyed if MacBooks are attacked, experts have warned.

THE space department of Britain First has told the alien rock known as Oumuamua to go back to its own bloody solar system.

PEOPLE who receive high numbers of likes on social media are provably better than those who do not, a study has confirmed.

ALL Scottish people are either related or went to school together, according to the vast majority of English people.

THERE are people who enjoy wine as something other than a means of getting wasted, it has been claimed.

THE best way to fend off a shark attack is from within the shark, it has been claimed.

SO-CALLED ‘life hacks’ are really just pointless tips for dull misers, it has emerged.

BRITONS are struggling to comprehend how it can be sunny but freezing f**king cold. 

A MAN is absolutely outraged at the pathetic size and technological backwardness of his friend’s television.

ANGRY people who scrawl offensive filth on the walls of public toilets can now make their messages twice as long.