Science & Technology

THE experiment that is the internet has proved to be a dreadful mistake for everyone involved and will be deleted as soon as possible.

FACEBOOK should introduce a button allowing you to send vile abuse and bloodcurdling threats to people automatically, internet users believe.

RACISTS have argued that the black Britons from the Mesolithic period changed to be white because it is better, and more should follow their example.

AN entire household was thrown into utter panic when their landline rang during an episode of Eastenders.

ROBOTS have asked if instead of Sunderland, Wakefield and Macclesfield they can work somewhere nice, like Bath.

GOOGLE has admitted its translation service has no idea how to decipher a mother's tone in her latest series of messages.

BORIS Johnson has unveiled plans to build a 140 mile bridge that will link Calais, central London and a new airport on a man-made island in the Thames estuary.

TODAY is officially the most depressing day of the year, according to a scientist degrading himself by concocting media bullshit.

When will the sinister forces harvesting our data to create a complete picture of our lives understand what a cheap bastard I am?