Science & Technology

COMPUTERS are a pointless load of bollocks, it has been confirmed.

THE Conservatives have claimed that without private electricity, Britain’s flatscreen televisions would still be showing the test card.

A SOCK, missing for three years, has unaccountably returned to the wardrobe from which it vanished.

EVERY Whatsapp group chat contains at least one person who dreams of escaping it, researchers have found.

A NEW smartphone app simulating the experience of home ownership in London is wildly popular among young people.

TECH experts have confirmed that the UK could have a driverless government as soon as 2020.

COMPLICATED mathematical equations requiring viewers to work out how many people equal 78 per cent of 237 remain the best way to sell shampoo, say experts.

THE inventor of the internet has apologised because it is such a load of bollocks.

OUR reality is just a dream in the mind of sleeping Ed Sheeran, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN who has time-travelled by an hour is struggling to convince colleagues that she is from the past.