Science & Technology

APPLE design guru Sir Jonathan Ive has admitted his iconic designs are based on his inability to draw anything except oblongs.

A FIVE-year-old boy was 30 minutes late for school because his mum was messing about on Facebook and lost track of time.

A LIFT engineer has confirmed that the ‘close doors’ button does absolutely f*ck all.  

A 36 YEAR-old man who used a generous dose of washing up liquid in his dishwasher has vowed to carry on looking after himself.

BRITONS have realised that there is no theoretical limit to the size of the television they would buy.

A MAN is wondering how far he can take his home carbonating device while hefting a tin of Big Soup questioningly in one hand.

YOUR internet history is an open secret to your boss and your partner so it needs to reflect your values and aspirations. But is it middle-class enough?

CELEBRATIONS are continuing worldwide after the victory the world feared it would never see: the day iTunes was finally defeated.

ANN Widdecombe has confirmed that homosexuality could be reversed with powerful magnets.

SCIENTISTS will soon develop a home printing machine that is not an absolute pain in the arse, it has been claimed.