Science & Technology

IF you want to go from being patiently helpful to a murderous rage in a matter of minutes, try teaching an elderly person to send a text message. Here are the phases you’ll go through.

YOU’RE having a productive day. You’re cruising towards inbox zero. But all it takes is one of these ominously worded email subjects to reduce you to a sobbing mess.

IT is vital that women know what men on the internet think is wrong with their bodies. Here’s how to go about this noble work.

JESUS Christ, what’s that noise? And where is it coming from? Ah, it’s the landline you’re obliged to keep in order to have broadband. But who could be ringing?

A FAMILY suspect their dad loves his new pressure washer more than his children.

UNIVERSITIES’ online freshers weeks will include the traditional session of spontaneous awful sex with a loner bloke from your course but via Zoom.

IT’S almost September, and the government’s world-beating track-and-trace system has still not arrived. What inventions will get here first?

PEOPLE who communicate using GIFs have been told to f**king pack it in and string a sentence together.

YOU’RE probably expecting me, the A-level algorithm developed by Ofqual, to apologise. But I’m only sorry that you’re too stupid to realise you’re idiots.

A FEMALE scientist who discovered a coronavirus vaccine in March has given up trying to tell her male colleagues.