Science & Technology

WE only have ourselves to blame for the current awful weather, it has emerged.

SALES of home DNA tests have spiked as Remainers desperately try to prove they are not in any way English.

BY this point in the 21st century we expected to be driving around Mars in spacesuits while robots do all the work. But we’re not. Here’s seven other things we’ve been deprived of:

A WOMAN who took magic mushrooms has hallucinated a world where the Brexit referendum never happened.

A WOMAN whose finger slipped while scrolling through her ex-boyfriend’s Instagram has announced she is taking a social media sabbatical until 2044.

A WOMAN is posting inspirational, motivational quotes on social media from under the duvet where she has been for 16 hours.

ALMOST two-thirds of all bullsh*t is presented in PowerPoint format, it has emerged.

A MAN’S attempt to revive an iPhone dropped in a sink by placing it in rice has sadly failed because rice is not magic.

ARE you being annoying enough about obsessively checking your phone? Here are some great situations to rudely interrupt.

THINK wireless earbuds make you look cool? Only until one falls out into your skinny macchiato. Here’s how to be even more of a twat about them.