Relationships

A man's options when a woman says 'It's nothing'

A MAN instinctively knows when a woman says ‘It’s nothing’, she means ‘It’s something’. But what really matters is the response that follows.

Enchanted woodland on midsummer's eve, and other wedding themes for simpering twats

GETTING married? Consumed with making your wedding stand out from all the others? These wedding themes will show everyone the real arsehole you.

Man doesn't realise he is a practise date

A MAN who is his partner’s first date since lockdown began has no idea that the date does not count because it is just for practise.

The questions men are shit-scared of women asking

DO you want to see the man in your life go rigid with terror? Try asking him one of these simple but terrifyingly difficult questions.

Relentless f**king messaging: Five things partners didn't have to worry about 20 years ago

THE economy was booming, the word Brexit didn’t exist, and romance in the early noughties was a piece of piss too. Here’s what partners didn’t have to faff about with back then.

Six things men can find before they find the clitoris

FORTY per cent of men could not identify the clitoris on a diagram. But here are six things they can find no trouble.

The six days of the year you're not allowed to dump someone

NEED to ditch that relationship baggage you grudgingly call your partner? Avoid these dates.

Couple on verge of split over whose parents are worse

A COUPLE are on the brink of breaking up over a disagreement about who has the most awful parents.

What f**king irritating noise is your partner making today?

LOVE is eternal and so is the infuriating sound of your partner going about their daily life. Which noise is worst today?

How to turn down sex in a way that makes you both feel bad

TELLING your partner you're not up for sex is an integral part of any relationship. Try these ways to make you both feel awful.