Relationships

A MAN who enjoys referring to his partner of 15 years ‘the wife’ does not know she calls him ‘that bastard’.

A KEEN-EYED boyfriend has spotted that the top of his partner’s hair has, over the last four months, changed to a different colour than the rest of it.

A MAN has begun the process of seducing his wife by telling her he fancies a shag tonight.

THAT sound is a vibrator, and you are listening to your housemate get her rocks off. Here's five other things that unmistakeable noise could be if you try very hard to convince yourself.

A FATHER-OF-TWO who received motor racing and DIY-themed Father’s Day cards has asked his children if they even know who he f**king is.

THE nation’s fathers are looking forward to mothers stepping up and doing something for a change this Father’s Day.

A WOMAN is going to extreme lengths to make people comment on the large gemstone on her finger, it has emerged.

A MAN meeting a date for a stately stroll around blooming gardens without touching at any point feels like Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, he has admitted.

ATTRACTIVE single people in your area desperately want to join your social bubble, adverts are claiming.

FOR a single married couple in the whole of Britain, enforced time at home together has not been a curse but a blessing.