DO conversations with your parents always veer off into heated, toxic confrontations? Keep chats upbeat with these topics it’s safe to discuss.
The weather
Unless your Brexiter dad saw a cloud that looked like Nigel Farage, chances are the weather is a risk-free topic. The only downside is that you’ll have to listen to lengthy descriptions of the precise angle at which the rain is falling, but that’s a small price to pay for not having an argument.
What you watched on telly
If you’ve been watching different shows, you can tune out while the other party rambles on about the latest developments in their programmes. If you’ve watched the same thing, just try to grind your teeth in silence while they misinterpret the themes or sympathise with obviously evil characters.
What the neighbours have been doing
If you want to avoid an argument about whether your partner is marriage material, ask how they’re getting on with the neighbours. This creates a safe space for them to rip their neighbours to shreds for trivial wrongdoings, without you having to give a shit because you’ve never met them.
Who you ran into in Tesco
This will be exceptionally thrilling if the person is someone your parents know too, as they will be able to tell meandering stories about something only tangentially related to them. Hopefully they won’t also go on a rant about being forced to wear a mask in shops.
What you’re having for dinner
Perfect chat fodder if you’re playing for time or the conversation starts drifting towards current events, as any mention of food will invite probing questions usually reserved for the cursory mention of a potential romantic interest. If you have ethical dietary requirements, maybe omit them for the sake of diplomacy.
