Relationships

NOT interested in any hanky-panky tonight? Want to let your partner down gently? Try these perfectly reasonable ways of getting out of it.

A COUPLE in a new home with an en-suite bathroom never knew how intimate they would become with each others’ excretions.

A MAN is facing divorce after his wife found him sobbing real tears at the end of a videogame.

A COUPLE have a fantastic relationship in all the moments when they are not arguing about where to go, what to eat, or how to do literally anything.

A CAT has formed a suspiciously strong bond with its owner’s boyfriend, she has confirmed.

A MAN has attempted to impress his date with all the aspects of his personality that make him an unbearable twat.

A WOMAN who has caught her boyfriend cheating for the fourth time has concluded that it must be her fault.

A WOMAN'S partner keeps starting conversations in front of the television believing he is more appealing than what she has chosen to watch.

ARE you worried that your relationship is abnormally weird and chaotic? Take our test and find out if you need to split up immediately.

A NEW dating app matches couples entirely based on correct grammar usage in written communications.