Relationships

IF you have middle class parents who think they're a bit bohemian, rebelling can be hard. Here’s how to disappoint and worry your bourgeois mum and dad.

A MAN is selecting a gift of underwear for his girlfriend based entirely on how fit he finds the women modelling it.

A WOMAN was so impressed when a random stranger on Instagram told her she had a ‘nice arse’ that she has decided to marry him.

HAVING sex is largely irrelevant to the economy, so the government can impose restrictions without consequence. So we will.

A MAN blessed with excessive self-confidence has no idea that he has been dumped because of his awful personality.

TEENAGERS planning toe-curlingly awkward first dates with long-time crushes are thrilled that bowling alleys are open again.

A COUPLE have confirmed they have been together long enough to begin hating each other a bit.

A COUPLE have agreed to utterly write off Saturday and Sunday by grudgingly deciding to spend them with one set of their ageing parents.

WISH your grown-up child had followed a different path? It’s never to late to offer subliminal negative guidance with our handy guide.

JUST because you’re a nice middle class person it doesn’t mean you can’t talk dirty in the bedroom. Here sex columnist Donna Sheridan shares her tips.