Relationships

Is your marriage fine or is your marriage 'fine'? Take our quiz

MARRIAGE is a special bond between two people who may or may not secretly loathe each other. Find out how yours is doing with this quiz:

Nightclubs, and five other places where you will never find love

LOOKING for love? Struggling to meet people? Avoid these haunts which are usually filled with incompatible morons.

Couple solemnly commence first shag of Carolean era

AS Britain enters a bold new era, one couple reverentially made love for the first time under the reign of King Charles III.

Woman fully aware that man would like friendship to be something more, thanks

A WOMAN is entirely cognisant that her male mate believes they could be more than just friends, thank you very much.

Five f**king awful friends every woman's had

IF you’ve made the mistake of having friends while being female, you’ve suffered through a regrettable friendship with these intolerable arseholes.

Man on bad date can't believe he went to zero effort for this

A MAN enduring a bad date is annoyed because he put zero effort into preparing himself for it.

Six cost-of-living crisis chat-up lines

OUT on the pull, and keen to turn ten per cent inflation into sex? These tailored chat-up lines will wow the ladies.

Six classic arguments to have with your partner during the big shop

RUNNING low on ways to argue with your partner? Do the big shop together and step into these petty fights.

Six things ladies must never, ever do. By a sexist twat

I THINK I speak for all men when I say ladies should be fragrant, delicate creatures with a hint of the startled fawn about them. Here are my rules for the fairer sex. By Martin Bishop.

Six things you don't have to bother with in a long-term relationship

A LASTING relationship is a great opportunity to let things slide and revert to being a slovenly beast. Here’s how to make the most of relationship ‘Easy Street’.