KNOW a couple who claim they’re meant to be together when they clearly hate each other’s guts? They’re probably one of these types.
The ones who chose each other based on looks
Your friend would have gone out with a serial killer if he was over six feet tall, had a six-pack and wasn’t beginning to thin on top. Luckily the guy she chose is just a bit of a dickhead rather than a psychopath, but sadly all they’ve got in common is taking a whole bloody hour to get ready in the morning.
The ones who have the same hobby
These two thought that because they have the same hobby they would never run out of things to talk about. They quickly did, but luckily cycle touring involves spending hours on end not speaking to each other, except to have a row about who forgot to turn Strava on again after the last stop to gulp disgusting energy gels in a windy lay-by.
The ones who post loved-up pictures on social media but argue all the time
This pair use social media solely for the purpose of posting gooey pictures of themselves hugging with captions like ‘My world’ and ‘4eva’. However, the second the phone is put down they’re bitching at each other about whose turn it is to put the bins out while secretly wishing they could summon the courage to break up.
The ones who’ve been together since school
Because they started going out when they were 16, they think they’re soulmates. The truth is they’ve been together so long and are so scarily dependent on each other they’re suffering some kind of reciprocal Stockholm syndrome and simply can’t function as separate entities anymore.
The ones with wildly different future plans
He wants kids, but she doesn’t. She wants to move to Milan but he loves going down the pub in Luton. He thinks polyamory is intriguing but she gets hideously jealous. And yet they insist they are made for each other and will be together forever. They won’t, and you and your own partner have already placed bets on how many more months you give it.
