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Mum wants to know what pegging is

A CONFUSED, elderly mum would like her daughter to kindly explain exactly what the word ‘pegging’ means.

Mary Fisher, who enjoys knitting, gardening and spending time with her grandchildren, refuses to use Google to find out for herself because she does not want Bill Gates knowing her email address.

Fisher said: “I saw someone say ‘pegging’ on the ‘We Support William and Catherine’ Facebook group I’m part of, but no one there would give me a definition. 

“They all just said ‘LOL’, which I know means laughing at me. It can’t be pegging out washing, because Kate has servants to do that.

“That’s why I need to speak to Clare. If you can’t get your daughter to help you, who can you ask?”

Daughter Clare Fisher is now desperately avoiding her mother in the hope that she forgets about it.

Clare said: “This happened before, when she asked me to explain what a ‘vajazzle’ was after she saw it in a newspaper. Then she wouldn’t speak to me for a week.

“I think I’ll just tell her it’s a type of yoga move.”

Zelensky visits frontline of UK

THE President of Ukraine is visiting the UK for a harrowing tour of what happens when a country gives up fighting.

Volodymyr Zelensky, whose country is currently battling the twin enemies of Russia and corruption, has come to London to see what happens when Russian corruption is allowed to buy all the houses.

He said: “If I needed to strengthen my resolve, this trip has done it. We cannot end up as weak and broken as Britain.

“The buildings may still be standing, but everything from energy to food to football is owned and controlled by foreign powers. The people don’t have a piece of infrastructure to call their own.

“A disastrous push to ‘take back control’ has only worsened the situation. The government is in a state of permanent collapse. The beaten-down people accept any humiliations from their oppressors, so bereft are they of hope.

“We cannot end up like this once-proud nation, a vassal state for any conqueror with cash. We must fight, as Britain failed to, to avoid their fate of being divided up by aggressive countries and enslaved for endless profit.”

He added: “Also, where’s Boris? He never told me he wasn’t prime minister anymore. Is he running the resistance?”

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